BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
two words...techno handjob
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
