You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
