Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
