I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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