The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
How's work?
Spinning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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