I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Don't make out with my wife yet
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize