The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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