Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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