If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm too high and old for this...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
