I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
