do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
