there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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