How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize