and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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