we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
