Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
