pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
