haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
