I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
