How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
