on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
