What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
