i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
