Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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