He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
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