why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
