I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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