You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
