I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
