What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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