How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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