My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
