girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
