dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize