Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
