And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
