But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
