theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We had to coat check the pizza.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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