i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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