Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
