I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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