Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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