4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
