I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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