Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
