Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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