What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
