you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
