This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
