and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i drank out of a bidet.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
