I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
