I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
