if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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