Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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