i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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