Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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