you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
